Measuring Up. The Perspective Shift You Need to Read.
What do you measure yourself with and why?
Whether we do it consciously or subconsciously every day we measure ourselves. We measure our success or efficiency or emotional capacity or lack thereof by some standard. Maybe it was did you get all of your “to-do’s” done for the day? Did you make the calls you needed to or respond to the emails you needed to? Did you get your errands done? Did you keep your patience with your kids or significant other today? Did you workout like you promised yourself you would? Did you scroll too much on social media today? Maybe you didn’t do your hair or makeup today…..
It's interesting to stop and think about what we measure ourselves by? More importantly, I want you to ask yourself…..are you standing next to your own measuring stick or are you standing next to someone else’s? Probably read that again…..Really let that sink in.
Think about children. We don’t expect children to all grow physically, mentally or emotionally at the same rate, right? Some kids get a growth spurt in 5th or 6th grade, others in 9th or 10th grade. We don’t shame the 5th grader for not being tall yet. Just because a child struggles through math in elementary doesn’t mean they won’t excel later. Sometimes concepts click for people at different times. If you are taking dogs hiking, you don’t expect your 11 year old dog to make it as far as your 3 year old dog do you? You can’t hold the 11 year old dog up to the measuring stick of the 3 year old dog, it’s just not fair.
It's also not fair if you hold yourself up to someone else’s measuring stick. No matter what. For no reason should you ever do that. Why would you do that?
There is no one like you on this earth. You have your own unique set of emotions, genetics, skills, physical abilities, and mental capacities. You cannot expect to turn out exactly like someone else. That’s like putting the ingredients for carrot cake in the oven and being upset when a chocolate cake doesn’t come out. You are working with different ingredients. The results will never be identical.
Stop measuring yourself or your success or your anything else up against the anything or everything of anyone else.
There is nothing wrong with seeing someone as an example or as an inspiration. If you see a woman at the gym who is ripped and strong and toned – don’t expect your body to look just like hers – you two don’t have the same ingredients. But what you can do is notice her work ethic, her consistency, her focus or even her form. Maybe your schedule doesn’t allow for you to get to the gym everyday – hers does. Don’t hold yourself to her measuring stick. But if your schedule does allow you to get to the gym 2-3 times per week – that my dear, is your measuring stick.
Focus on YOUR ingredients and play to those strengths rather than wasting time and energy on the negative thought processes that can come along with the comparison game. We aren’t here to compete with each other, the only person you should strive to measure up to is the very best version of you, your higher self.
I know it’s tough one to get past at times. The mental game of trying to NOT compare yourself. But trust me when you begin to nourish your relationship with yourself more it gets much, much easier. I see you, I love you, I’m here supporting you.